Please note, this is an automatic transcription and therefore might have mistakes.

Polly:

I was putting that negative energy, I’m not going to have enough time, I don’t time to do this. How am I going to have time to fill all these orders? And when you put that in there, it’s gonna, it’s going to, you know, it’s going to push those orders away. It’s gonna push those people away because you’re putting out there: you don’t have enough time.

Nicolina:
Welcome to building for bliss, a show for the sensitive and creative entrepreneur who wants to build their business with success, joy and ease. I’m your host. Nicolina Werther. Welcome to today’s episode with my first guest Polly Singer. And I’m so excited. Polly is a milliner a hat maker and makes beautiful, handmade hats, but she also has something else in her range now which I’m very curious about, because that’s also going to tell us how we met and how, well, she got, maybe inspired by me to create a new product and I got inspired by you, actually, to start the podcast. You’ve been named America’s best hat-maker. I should add that as well. Best couture hat maker. And you’ve been featured, like, in wall street journal, USA today, Forbes and Tea time magazine, everywhere. So it’s really, a great pleasure. You have also been in business for almost three decades now. Welcome. Welcome. Let’s start with the start. How did you start?

Polly:
Okay, well, um, you know, I was living in New York city at the time. Uh, it was 1993. I was working in the music business. Where I was working, it was very glamorous. I worked for the chairman of EMI records. But I missed working with my hands. I had grown up making things. My grandmother taught me how to sew. I did, you know, sewing competitions growing up. So I really missed that creative aspect of, of working with my hands. And then one day I was getting ready for work. I was actually running the office that day and my boss was out of town and I was styling my hair as we all do, getting ready, and I got a hairbrush stuck in my hair. So I was freaking out because it was a long brush, about six inches long and there was no way to get it out. So I grabbed the nearest thing I had, which was a purple velvet hat. So it was July in New York city, probably about 90 degrees. And the only thing I had to cover that long six inch hairbrush was a purple velvet hat. So I threw it on where it wore to work and people just raved over it. And it really showed me that hats are very sculptural and they really get attention, obviously and they really, uh, complete an outfit. You know, they’re very much works for, they complete an outfit.

And at the time, a very good friend of mine, Suzanne was going to the fashion Institute of technology, known as FIT to take classes. And she really encouraged me to do that. And when I went for my first class, which is cut and sew hats, I was just like, wow, I really like this. This is something that I can do that I’m working with my hands, I’m working with beautiful fabrics and it just grew from there. That is kind of my start.

Nicolina:
Was it always couture hats? OR did you start more with like normal hats?

Polly:
Well, that’s a very good question. Actually, I started with cut and sew hats. So I started at the children’s hats I had. Yeah, children’s hats. I had a very good friend whose mother had a children’s store in Bronxville, New York. So I started with children. Children’s hats and christening hats. And then, um, well I liked doing those. The frustration was that children’s heads grow so big, you know, that their heads grow so quickly. So they were quickly growing out of what I made. So, uh, so I stopped, I stopped the children’s hats and I went more for casual hats, you know, kind of street hats that you would wear, you know, in New York city, just kind of, you know, day to day. And then, uh, it wasn’t until I came back to Kentucky and I started doing the more couture for the Kentucky Derby and the races. So it kind of evolved from that.

Nicolina:
That is, yeah, it’s amazing because that’s, of course the bit I know from you because then we met, I think almost a year and a half ago, isn’t it?

Polly:
Yes.

Nicolina:
Yeah. During a personal development and professional development course. Um, and I met you as a hat maker. Yes. So I guess, I guess that’s what you’ve been doing then for almost the three decades? It’s mostly doing handmade hats? which I think is amazing, uh, an amazing specialty, but you’re also doing something else now, isn’t it like. so do you want to tell us about that as well?

Polly:
Sure. Well, um, we met, I guess, Was it, 2020. And, um, you know, during the shutdown, I, um, was a frustrated Hatmaker because there were no events to go to or make hats for. So I got into baking, I started baking scones, I do a vegan scone. And then I started posting pictures of my scones and I had requests for scones. And then, I saw your mindfulness posts, your mindfulness tea posts on Instagram. And that just really struck a chord with me because, you know, I love tea, but I usually drink it as I’m working, you know, as I’m working on the laptop as I’m sowing, uh, in the morning, I never stopped and just had tea and let everything go and really connected with the tea you know, I tend to be kind of a, a Type A person, you know, in businesses. So I’m going, going, going. So that whole aspect of just stopping with tea and really being in the moment and focusing on the taste, the texture, the heat, the warmth, the feel of the cup in my hand. It was just a very sensual experience and very grounding too. I found it very grounding.

So I just, I loved that. And I started thinking, well, how can I incorporate tea? And then I came up with the idea to do a tea with Polly, which was an online zoom class, which you were on. We did a mindfulness tea together that everyone just loved, you know, They had never had that experience. So the tea thing just kept popping up for me. And it was actually last fall. Last September. I was out on a walk and I thought, I wonder if I have in my own brand of tea or my own tea line, because the tea thing, it just brings me so much joy. I had done a live tea event earlier that year that had been a sellout. So I thought wonder about having my own tea.

So, I did some research found a company that I could work with that, um, is local. So that was really nice. The tea, the quality of the tea is wonderful. So I broad it in my, my thrive group, online group. I said, what do you all think about this? Do you think I should do a tealine? And they were like, yeah, I think that’s so natural for you.

So it helped having that confirmation, you know, because sometimes, you know, you’ll have an idea and think, okay, is this a really crazy idea? Have I lost my mind? But I thought, no, I love tea and tea brings people together. It’s nurturing, it’s healthy. Um, you know, it’s just a beautiful beverage, you know, the smell of tea. so I started planning my tea line and designing my tea label and it took about six months for the project to be born. And I’m a little impatient, you know, I thought I could get it out in three months for Christmas, but it just took longer. But, uh, but it’s been a neat journey. And that the hardest thing I will tell you was deciding on four teas to launch with. because it’s like, I like my, I have my teas that I like. I’m a black tea person. I’m an Earl gray, Earl gray, Assam of a black tea person. I can drink black tea all day long. So I did a poll on, um, through, through my Facebook group and also my email list. What do these, do you all, like, what, what type of tea do you like during the day?

And it was surprising. You know what people said? There were a lot of people that liked green tea herbal, ginger was a favorite too. So I started off with an Earl gray, uh, Paris afternoon, uh, cherry green, Rose Cherry green, and then a blue butterfly peaflower that’s what I started with and the herbals and the greens have outsold the black teas thus far.

Nicolina:
Wow. That is so interesting

Polly:

It was. It was really interesting and funny. The one tea, the blue butterfly tea, it’s a purple tea when brewed and the blue- , it it’s hard to say the blue butterfly tea has, um, a lot of good antioxidants it’s collagen promoting, it has the fennel star anis in it, hissop, Jasmine elderberry, current. It’s got a lot of really nice herbs in it.

Um, yeah, I kind of, wasn’t sure about that tea. I thought, well, you know, let’s just try it, you know, I just put it out there and see what happens and that’s been the favorite. And I think because it’s something you can drink all day long. It’s a nice after dinner tea, because it’s got the fennel in it. Um, it’s purple, which, you know, it’s just different, you know, it just looks so pretty in the cup. So, uh, so that’s been a, a big favorite with people.

Nicolina:
That’s really interesting. And it kind of reminds me of, if there’s a lesson there in terms of when do you trust your own instincts intuition or something, or when do you look for, for example, feedback from your customers? I don’t know if there was something in there for you where you went from “mmmh. Should I test this” or shall I just go with what I think. did you had any learnings around that?

Polly:
I did. I actually, um, I do have a pendulum.. Which is kind of basically your intuition. So I did muscle testing and my pendulum on it. And every time I’d tested the blue tea the purple tea, the blue butterfly tea, I just got such a resounding yes. So I thought just go for it. But what’s interesting. I find too, uh, with it, it’s kind of that long, that leap, you know? So it was like, Ooh, you know, if I, if I test this, if I do this and it doesn’t go well, who am I stuck with it? And for me, it’s nice. My minimums are small. It’s very small batch. So I thought, if people don’t like it, I like it. I can just drink it all up.

But I was kind of thinking, okay, you know, what do people want? What are they looking for? What is going to resonate with them? You know, but also trusting my intuition on it. So I thought, well, okay, I’m getting to go with that. So I’m just gonna do it. I’m just gonna see what happens

Nicolina:
And that’s, I guess, different then. Because when you create your hats, they’re very often they are bespoke. I mean, you have both. You have bespoke and you bring out lines as well as, um, so is that, is it a similar process or how is it different than what you didwith the tea?

Polly:

Well, you know, the nice thing with tea is it’s pretty much, um, you know, the bespoke on the hats is little more complicated because it’s different colors, you know, matching an outfit. It’s very, um, you know, working with the client emails back and forth texts back and forth. Whereas the tea is, I wouldn’t say cut and dry, but it is kind of. You know, like once I decide on it, it’s done and I tend to be, uh, in the past I’ve been an indecisive person. So having that where it’s just like, okay, it’s this flavor move on, has been nice.

You know, there’s kind of a peace with it for me instead of when I did the bespoke, which the going back and forth is, um, you know, it’s a process. It’s more of a process and my, my ready to wear line, you know, it was probably a lot like the teas, you know, it’s there, it’s out there, you know, when people buy it, they buy it as it is. So, um, I kinda like that, you know?

Nicolina:
Yeah. And I’m wondering because I mean, I’ve seen like the whole idea of making decisions and trusting yourself is huge. I find it. In all areas of life, but definitely also in business, because like you said, if you don’t have that ability, you just can’t make decisions and you just get stuck around all sorts of things. Is there anything in particular that you feel like changed that for you? Or like when you said you used to be indecisive? Or is it more , over the years, you just, yeah. Was there anything in particular? Was it just a gradual evolving?

Polly:
Yeah, it was actually interesting. A lot of the, um, my thing with being indecisive I realized was being perfectionist and I’m such a perfectionist on my hats. I mean, I have been known to open up a shipping box. To recheck it to make sure it’s right. And nobody else would probably do that, but I’m such a perfectionist. And I was, I was kinda raised that way, you know, by my parents. So I’ve always been Polly perfectionist, and I really have done a lot of work on that, through the classes I’ve taken and I’ve realized nothing is perfect.

And the stress I was putting myself through trying to have everything so perfect. Was really wearing me out. It was really wearing me down. Um, quite honestly it was affecting my health, my sleep, my rest. So just in the past, um, I would say maybe six months I have just been like perfect. I mean, better done is better than perfect.

Done is better than perfect. Yeah. You know, that’s my new mantra : Done is better than perfect! And it’s never going to be perfect. There’s always things you would change. You could always go back and redo things, but you just have to move on and make a decision. And that was kind of, you know, in a strange way at the benefit of my tea line is it was like, okay, I’m going to choose four tea of, you know, hundreds of teas available. It might not be perfect. It might not be what is exactly perfect for everyone, but that’s how I’ve got to. start., and just do it and move on. And there’s been a real peace with that and I’ve actually hired, um, you know, I have an intern and I have a VA that I work with now and I have just been like, okay, let’s make a decision and move on.

Because, you know, in the past I was that person in the store who would be at whole foods or wherever, and take, you know, 10 minutes to choose a toothpaste. And I’m like, Polly, it’s a toothpaste move on. Or like trying to book a trip, you know, with like these. So which, which hotel am I going to pick? Looking at all the reasons. Researching it. And I was like, Holly, just go with your vibe, going with your intuition and do it. And all the teas have been really well received. You know, everybody’s been, you know, I’ve had reorders, you know, people that have, uh, ordered the blue butterfly. I’ve had reorders on things and the EArl gray I’ve had reorders on. So it’s really gone well. And you know, I’ve learned through this that I just have to make a decision and move on. It’s not going to be perfect, but. It’s better than staying in that limbo because it’s so easy as a creative person or business person to stay in that limbo. And it’s comfortable to stay in that limbo.

Nicolina:
Well, until you don”t make sales

Polly:
very comfortable to stay in that limbo. So it’s like you can either move on or…

Nicolina:
I’m curious, I don’t know if you can answer this because I’ve done this embodiment training over the last year, and obviously with mindfulness, I’ve always been very curious about how these things resonate in our body. And I’ve noticed that I find, the ability to make fast decisions. Like for me, there’s a certain feeling in my body that I now find easier to just be okay with things. It almost it’s something in myself, whereas before it was either I would just get lost in my mind or, um, you know, and there was much more tightness and I feel like the more I can just relax in my body, the easier it becomes. So I am just curious if you’ve noticed anything like that in you.

Polly:
You know, it’s really interesting. And I’ve noticed that for me, probably over, I’d say that the past year, maybe a year and a half, that I have become that way too. And I can really sense, sense it. And it’s like, I just feel like, okay, this feels good. Like, this feels good. Like this, this food feels good. Um, you know, this place feels good. And then other ones I’m like, Nope, it just doesn’t. And it’s a lot more cut and dry. It. Than it was. And I think it’s learning to trust your intuition because in the past, you know, I had things that happened where I didn’t trust my intuition, that my logical mind said, um, you know, work with that store. You know, the guy knows your family, you know, work with that store. But something in me was saying, no. And then a couple of years later I realised, I didn’t follow my intuition. And actually, quite honestly, I got mad at myself and Polly didn’t follow your intuition. Why did you do that? So I’m learning to say “OK” you know, that just feels good. That doesn’t feel good. And actually yesterday I was in a situation and I walked in and just the place felt bad. The energy felt bad. And I was like, I’m outta here, I’m outta here.

Nicolina:
And that’s such a relief. Once you have build that capacity to do that, isn’t it.

Polly:
And I think too, when we follow our intuition, it feels joyous and it feels very light and it feels easy and it doesn’t mean that there won’t be obstacles, you know, that it doesn’t mean that, um, you know, it’s going to be totally easy, but it just feels joyful.

So if it feels like, oh, this is a lot of work. I don’t know if I want to do this. That’s kinda your intuition telling you, No!, That you don’t need to do that. There’s another path that might be an easier path. That might be another project somebody different to work with. But if it feels good, I think that’s your intuition saying, yeah, you’re on the right path.

Nicolina:
That’s so beautiful then. Cause I had thinking, I wanted to ask you, like how do you make sure you used to experience joy in your day-to-day or generally running your business, but I guess you just answered that unless you have anything else to say.

Polly:
Actually I do. And something you posted the other day about taking your time and, um, time has always been a thing for me because, um, you know, I always do a lot of different jobs at one point, I guess it was early 2020. I was doing like three jobs. I had a travel business. I had a part-time job with a job job, and then I had my hat business. So I was doing so much, I was always rushing and I felt like I’m not enjoying my life. You know, I’m just rushing from a to B and I’m, snappy, you know, um, I’m not always happy, I’m tired, so I’m eating a lot more sugar, you know, trying to get that energy. And it’s really been over the past month or so that I’ve been like, okay, I’m taking my time. I’m slowing down. I’m going to, I have enough time to get things done. The rushing is actually stressing me out.

So I really realized that again, I’m taking time and I’m not going to get everything done in the day. I’m not going to get every post. Perfect. I’m not going to get every email. Perfect. But I’m going to enjoy my day and something I recently added because I have a website, I have to do all the tech stuff. And I was like, you know, I feel like I am just running a business. I have, I felt like I had. I would say gotten away from my creativity, but it wasn’t part of my everyday.

So I decided I am going to work on a creative piece every day. At the end of the day for an hour, at least I’m going to try to create something every day and maybe I don’t get it done, but I’m on that path. You know, I’m getting that creative energy and that’s made me a lot happier. ’cause I, I was like, well, that’s why I’m doing a creative business is to be creative. And if I’m so bogged down and in a website and you know, tech stuff, I could be doing that anywhere, you know? So, so that’s been a big eye-opener for me to do something every day that brigns me joy, and to take breaks, taking breaks is huge because I’m somebody that can sit at the laptop and work for six hours straight. And then afterwards be like, oh, I’m so tired. But taking breaks and going outside setting in the sun, even if it’s cold, outside setting indoors in the sun, you know, or just taking a tea break really makes the day more enjoyable and it brings a lot more joy in my life.

Nicolina:
I couldn’t agree more. Yes, absolutely. And I think I always find those creative people and sensitive

people. We need to do that even more so because we’re just not designed to go go go….

Polly:
Oh no, no. Yeah. We really are. You know, and I think till, you know, it’s getting caught up in that very masculine world that, you know, okay, we’ve got to create, we’ve got to, you know, be productive. We must be productive and, you know, I grew up like that, you know? So I’ve gotta be productive. What did, what did you produce today? And, uh, and it’s like, no, and sometimes, you know, like I have days where I’m just not feeling it at all, so I will just rest all day long. I did that Wednesday. I said, I’m just not feeling it. I just, I feel like I need to rest. And my body’s just telling me and because I’ve rested. Then the next day I got so much more done because I wasn’t trying to push through, you know, because our bodies were just not designed to be machines. And I think some times, you know, society puts all this pressure on us to produce and create, and we just have to rest.

Nicolina:
Yeah, dunno. I do. I always find like when I try to do that for a while, it works, but eventually my work is suffering. Like it’s not going to be up to the same standard because it drains you.

Polly:
It, does, it drains you, it really does. And you know, it’s like your work’s not the same standard. And sometimes too, when you’re really rested, you can get more done in that hour than you could in a day of being exhausted. Yeah. You know, cause like you lose things, like, oh, where was I? And you know, I mean you just, and some of my best ideas have come to me when I’m resting, you know, some of the best things.

Nicolina:
I find that so beautiful because I think you shared somewhere, your mission is to make women feel more beautiful and confident and radiant. Tell me more about that? Like how, how does all that tie together?

Polly:
Well, you know, the, the making women for more beautiful radiant, um, is actually, well, you know, through, through hats, you know, and through what they wear, but also the T you know, and that’s one of the reasons why I wanted to combine tea and hats for events, you know, where women can wear , their hats to teas and get together. because I think women really need that time to relax. And when you relax and you’re with your friends, um, you’re having tea, you’re chatting, you do feel beautiful and you do feel radiant and you feel it’s being relaxed. You know, it’s being in the moment. And that’s one of the things that I really like about my tea group, I’ve been in a tea group since 2008, is when we get together, you just relax and you let go. And generally, you know, we don’t talk about the news. You know, our phones are, are gone, you know, they’re in our bags except for maybe taking a quick picture too, but it’s just disconnecting. And, and I think that’s what makes people feel, feel good and feel radiant.

And taking time for themselves and also to, you know, kind of dressing up, you know, cause in the day to day, um, you know, especially, you know, working from home as we all have been for awhile, you know, it’s just sweaters and sweats and leggings and it’s like, I’m so tired of all. And even a couple of days ago, I started kind of wearing. I have a really good friend and she always wears, she works from home and she always wears a dress or skirt. It looks so cute. And as I start doing that and I felt better, I had more energy. So, um, so yeah, but I think it’s about connecting to people and, you know, also through online, through social media and building people up, you know, and, and, and nurturing them and putting out kindness. You know, through your post or through your email and just really creating that community, you know, it can be online, but it can also be in person as well.

Nicolina:
Exactly. Let us know. Well, what’s coming up for you. You just launched your tea. I don’t know if you have any other big adventures planned for the next couple of months?

Polly:
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I do, um, last year, I guess was last April. I had done a rea event hat tea with Holly Hillin, in, uh, Midway, which is about half an hour from where I live. And I was really nervous about doing it because it was the first event I had done in a long time. And the restrictions, you know, we’re just opening up here. Things were opening up restaurants and all that. So we did it and it sold out. It’s sold out a week before with 75 people and it was just so much fun.

So this year we’re doing it in a bigger space, so we’ll have 150 tickets available. And we’re going to have music. I will be serving my teas and we’ll have a fashion show and model. So I’m really excited about that. Uh, the lady that I work with Rita Mitchell is one of the top chefs in America. One of the top female chefs. She’s just amazing. And she’s so positive and so much fun to work with. So I’m super excited about that. And then, uh, as part of my business plan, as we said earlier, I want to combine tea and hats and events. So I have one in Pennsylvania scheduled where I’ll be taking my hat and tea show on the road and going to the tea room in Pennsylvania, which is about six hour drive from here and doing a tea etiquette presentation because I’m, you know, I’m finding people really enjoy that.

They enjoy the etiquette aspect. And it’s just something very different. So I can, you know, I can add the T with that, the hats with that. And a lot of people, one of the biggest things for me with, you know, being a designer, I would hear people say, well, I love hats. But I don’t have really anywhere where to wear them, I re you know, I mean, this isn’t something you wear every day at the store. So, uh, so I thought, okay, let’s combine tea and hats and etiquette. So that’s just really going on really well.

Nicolina:
Yeah. I love it. And it’s such a, even like from a, you know, business marketing, whatever perspective, I think it’s so brilliant that you kind of really create, like, I dunno, in my industry, people always talk about, oh, you have to give them the whole package. And like, was everything, not just a single product or something, and that’s kind of. I don’t know if you did it on purpose, but it just kind of everything kind of feels like it comes to come together and creating this whole experience where it’s not just a product. But they’re getting everything.

Polly:
Everything well, you know, it’s really funny because, um, it just kinda kept coming to me, you know, maybe through intuition more than anything. Or as I was out walking, you know, but I was just like, yeah, I want to create a community. And that’s what I really liked about the tea with Polly, my online zoom class. And I did maybe four or five of them. And I stopped doing them when I started doing live events again. But I was like, I just really liked that community and people that are into tea and into hats it’s, um, you know, it’s people that, I guess I, I resonate with, you know, we, we, you know, you find your little tribe, so it’s kind of a little tribe in a way, but, um, people that are into afternoon tea. You know, it’s very similar values. Like they like to relax. Tey like beauty. A lot of them like history. They like, um, they like, they just, they, they like the same things I like, I guess they like, you know, be, um, the, the magic of it. They like pretty things like they love the pretty teacup, you know, they love beauty. So, um, So, yeah, so it’s just, it’s kind of evolved.

And, you know, had you asked me even a year ago, I never would have thought this. I never would have. I think to a lot of it is coming out of, uh, for me, you know, the isolation of, you know, the pandemic. Because, you know, everybody was just isolated for so long. And I really realized, you know, I don’t really, I mean, I, I’m an introvert. I’m very much an introvert, you know, so I can really be on my own. I don’t have any problem with that, but I miss that human connection. And I think people did too. And that positive human connection. It’s so important and people really build each other up. I find, you know, and that’s one of the things I’ve always loved about my group. My tea group that I’m in is they’ve always just been there for me and we’re there for each other. Um, you know, we’ve had, um, some people that have had losses and illnesses and we just lift each other up. And that’s what I really like about the sense of community. And I think it’s, um, It’s so important.

Nicolina:
What you just said is just so beautiful. Like what you just said about all the values, your shared and the communities you could try to create. I think that’s what I posted this week. On social media, what’s this whole idea of in, for example, elegance, um, which I find is such a beautiful thing, because it really allows you to savor every moment. So it has this mindfulness aspect, but it also brings a beauty and the luxury and all these qualities in it that just feel really kind of calming and abundant. And yeah, it just makes you feel beautiful and nourished. Isn’t it.